Forget hidden credit card fees. I want President Obama’s new financial regulations to unearth those hidden grad school fees.
What fees, you ask?
I already knew about tuition (in the neighborhood of $48,000 a year). I budgeted for living expenses – rent, food, gas, health insurance (actually President Obama, I could use some help with that too). I figured I’d spend $100 or so on books. I even made the painful cuts necessary to afford the $900 Penske rental truck to schlep my stuff, which was pure insanity. I thought I was set.
Then those hidden fees blew my pathetic little budget out of the water.
First there was the case studies materials fee (mostly covering copyrights): $1,500
Then there was the sign-up fee for Internet services (even though no one had to come out to actually set it up): $45
And the wireless router – not a necessity, but still: $70
Then add some super-special software I didn’t know I had to buy from the school: $95
Throw in a formatting fee from the computer guys who, as far as I can tell, took my machine and erased all my settings and bookmarks; shoved all my documents to a dark corner of my hard drive and put a really ugly image on my desktop: $200
And, finally, the external hard drive I probably should have bought years ago but which the tech guys scared me into buying (“The only people whose hard drives crash are the ones who don’t back up.”): $90
All told that’s $2,000 I didn’t expect to spend. Ouch. And there’s still time for more fees to creep in before classes start.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe I need to start trolling for sugar daddies or look into selling my nonessential organs to those rabbis in Hoboken. Or I could seek out some lonely-but-rich widows who need a nice young lady to listen to their stories, fetch their cough drops and feed their 85 cats.
Suggestions (and donations!) are always welcome.