My university sent out this bulletin today to warn us about a fluffy creature on the loose:
Please be aware that we have received reports from the Police Department of a fox acting aggressively in the Lambeth Field, Rugby Road and University Circle areas. Please avoid these areas if possible. Police advise that if you see the fox do not approach the animal but call 911 and give the operator your exact location. Humane traps have been set up to catch the fox and allow for routine tests to check the health of the animal.
“Acting aggressively”? Was the fox chest bumping passersby? Or maybe wearing a leather jacket, smoking a cigarette and giving off a James Dean-like aura?
I know, I know. The fox is probably rabid. But I’m punchy from too many cases and too little sleep.
Reading about Mr. Fox made me a little homesick for South Florida, where crazy animals are the norm. No offense, but this aggressive fox wouldn’t have lasted two days in the Aggressive Animal Land that is South Florida. In my five years there, we managed to have:
- A rabid fox that jumped a fence, bit an elderly man in his back yard, jumped another fence and terrorized a playground full of preschoolers.
- Enough pythons spotted for the state to order a “controlled kill” of them in the Everglades. Translation: Guys who look like Dog the Bounty Hunter get to fire their guns out of season.
- A python attempting to eat an alligator.
- Numerous tales of alligators swimming up backyard canals and eating tiny purse dogs (look out, Tinkerbell).
- Two cheetahs mauling their owner (I’d been in the pen with them two weeks before. Yikes!).
- A tiger named Bobo escaping his compound and his owner (a former Tarzan in the movies) and leading to a 30-hour search. Bobo met an untimely end at the end of a state wildlife officer’s gun. The public’s reaction was so fierce that non-sworn state wildlife officers stopped wearing their uniforms for fear that they would meet the same fate.
Sigh. It’s hard not to miss living on the edge. But I guess I live in a kinder, gentler place now, a place where a slightly aggressive fox calls for an all-points bulletin.