Thanks to Darden’s generous vacation policy, this is the longest time I’ve ever been home for the holidays. Which also means it’s the most time I’ve spent with my parents in a long time. Specifically my mom and her goofy and slightly inappropriate sense of humor.
So, here for your amusement, are a few tidbits I overheard at home during the holiday break.
At the dinner table discussion about booze:
Mom: I had my last beer in second grade.
Watching a Viagra commercial:
Steph: I thought that was going to be a men’s hair dye commercial.
Mom: If it’s not one head, it’s the other.
Driving home from the movie theater:
Mom: Guns fascinate me. What? They do!
Watching a guy on the local news with a large, red, swollen nose:
Mom: Buddy, you need to stop drinking. It’s too late for your nose but you might save your liver.